Hijab.

2 Jun

Asalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatu 🙂

Ahhhh Hijab Hijab Hijab. How you stressed my soul lol.  I FINALLY made the decision to wear the Hijab at 19 about half way into my first year at University.  That’s the finishing line, my journey to that point spans over 6 years :O.  Here I Go…

Alhamdulillah I was born into a Muslim family and although I didn’t really start practicing the deen until I was about 13, I always knew I was a Muslim.  Now, the physical aspect of  Hijab isn’t something that I really saw being practiced by the women in my family when I was younger.  The only time they wore it was during Ramadan, at a halaqah (Islamic circle where people gain knowledge) or when they went to the mosque.  However,  my Ma always made it clear to me that it was obligatory in Islam and one day I would have to do it, but, I had to WANT to do it so I wasn’t under any family pressure like some sisters are.  I think this kind of contributed to my procrastination though because in my head I thought “Aight cool, it’s not an issue, when I’m ready it shall be done. No biggy” . Little did I know that it would become one of the hardest things I would ever do.

At around 12/13 I started attending Quran classes at my mosque with my siblings but because I was just entering ‘teenage hood’ the Sheikh was reluctant to take me on so I was told to go and learn with the older women instead :).  This is probably when I really started to really learn about Hijab and the wisdom behind it.  The sisters I took the classes with knew I didn’t wear it full-time so they hit me with Nasiha (advice) any chance they got (May Allah Reward Them), but I didn’t budge.  The way I saw it was that it was pointless for me to wear Hijab if I wasn’t perfect in every other aspect of Islam first.  Today I see that this was me simply doing what I do best, PROCRASTINATING.  The next 5 years of my life were about me trying to ‘perfect’ my Islam, I definitely thought about Hijab a lot during this time but I never plucked up the courage to do it.  People attach ALOT of different ideas and concepts to the Hijab which made me kind of scared of it.  Back then, to me Hijab equated to Piety.  If you were not pious then it was not for you.

Let’s fast forward to Ramadan 2010 which came about  during the summer before I would be leaving home to attend Uni.  I came to the conclusion that this holy month would be my last chance to reconnect with Allah (s.w.t) and really begin to understand and practice Islam.  I wanted to leave home with Islam in my heart.  Alhamdulillah, everything went the way I wanted it to and I started to develop a lot of love for Islam.  During this time, I felt it was only right that I also cover so I did. I was a Hijabi for the WHOLE of Ramadan and when it ended I didn’t want to go back to ordinary clothes.  When I wore Hijab I felt FREE, COMFORTABLE and CONTENT.  I was seriously contemplating Hijab for about a month after Ramadan and spoke to many sisters.  Some told me “Just wear it or you’re gonna be Shaytaan’s wife” others advised me  to “Follow your heart” and one sister told me to “Do what is pleasing to Allah”.  My mum tried to bribe me into it lol, she promised me a massive scarf and abaya (Islamic gown) shopping spree if I did it but then I remembered I would be away from home at Uni which was going to be hard enough and I didn’t want to complicate the situation any further so I decided against it.

Fast forward again and I’m at uni now and Alhamdulillah my iman (faith) isn’t too bad.  One day I was on YouTube watching videos on Hijab and modesty and one in particular had an effect.  It was by Roadside 2 Islam and was called ‘Guard Your Modesty’.  I remember being offended as hell when I watched it but then the question ‘Why are you offended?’ came to mind.  Trying to answer that question had me thinking about putting on the Hijab AGAIN!  At this point I was speaking to a lovely sister on Twitter and she was sharing with me how she started wearing Hijab and her story was similar to mine which made me feel better because sometimes you can really feel like you’re the only one in the whole world going through something.  Somehow through our conversations she knew that I’d be ready soon but I just brushed it off.  Once again I buried the whole wearing Hijab idea in the back of my head and decided to focus on boosting my Iman.  A couple weeks later I went to a talk organised by iERA called the ‘Path to Guidance’.  I loved hearing the brothers talk about how each of them found Islam.  All their stories were so enlightening and different but the last speaker Mr Yusha Evans didn’t speak about how he came to Islam.  Instead, he chose to speak about dawah (“call”) and stressed its importance.  Strangely the Hijab came back into mind and I kept wondering how exactly I would be able to give dawah when I didn’t even want to follow my religion fully myself.  This then made me start thinking about gaining the pleasure of Allah (s.w.t).  The next day, a sister tagged me in a video called “How to Attain Allah’s Pleasure” and WHO was speaking, YUSHA EVANS.  Coincidence? I Think NOT.  I listened to the talk and brotherman broke it DOWN and that’s when I said forget everything and everyone else.  I want to do what will make Allah pleased with me so on Monday 28th February 2011 @ 01.38am I made the decision to wear the Hijab full-time.  I was nervous and I’ve had my struggles already only 3 months in but Wallah NOTHING feels better than knowing you are doing the RIGHT thing.

~ Sheila N

Read more about Sheila here

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10 Responses to “Hijab.”

  1. muna June 2, 2011 at 7:08 pm #

    subhanallah what an amazing story, i think our whole lives us muslims spend procrastinating, but what i understood when i made THE DECISION (WEARING A HIJAB/JILBAB) was that this procrastination was swayed by the shaytaan, because i know for sure no muslim would ever have the heart to even contemplate shall i OR SHALL I NOT disobey the one who created me, the heavens and the very existence of life, someone who was blessed into the religion of islam wouldnt have the heart in my opinion.

    • Sheila.N June 2, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

      Exactly Sis. Its A Tool Of The Shaytaan. It Makes You LONG Out Any Good You Want To Do. (May Allah Protect Us From It). Jazak’Allah For Reading and Taking The Time Out To Comment. Appreciated.
      Sheila.N x

  2. Hala Omar June 2, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

    this was good story i read it was brilaint i liked it was intresting it catched me i wasn’t like this but i was wearing since i was young but Mashallah sister good.

    KEEP UP YOUR MODESTY!

    • Sheila.N June 2, 2011 at 11:28 pm #

      Jzak’Allah Sis. Thanks So Much For Coming Onto The Blog, Reading and Commenting and I Will Sis. Always x

  3. Nabil grilled fish man June 2, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    mashallah may allah reward all those who took the time to advise you with jannah inshallah.

    • Sheila.N June 3, 2011 at 4:55 am #

      Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen To That. Thanks For Reading and Commenting. Nice Name lol

  4. Black Muslimah June 3, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    “People attach ALOT of different ideas and concepts to the Hijab which made me kind of scared of it. Back then, to me Hijab equated to Piety. If you were not pious then it was not for you.”

    I think that a lot of people who struggle with hijab also feel this way. The expectations of hijab and what it means from others can be overwhelming to those who don’t wear it and would like too. MashaAllah at all of the people Allah placed in your life to serve as inspiration and a nudge towards your hijabi path. May Allah grant them rewards generously for their efforts. May he continue to bless you and make your journey easy, Ameen. Beautiful Story sis! Assalaamu Alaikum!

    • Sheila.N June 4, 2011 at 3:05 pm #

      Wa’alaykum Salaam Sis,
      Jazak’Allah For Such A Beautiful Comment. Ameen To Your Dua and I Agree With You 100% It Can Push Someone Away. Now That I Wear It I’m Always Saying “WHAT Is The Big Deal?”. May Allah Make It Easy For All Our Sisters Struggling.
      Love x

  5. Online Quran Recitation June 14, 2011 at 6:45 am #

    Thanks for sharing such a nice story…Quran says in Sura al-Noor (24:31):
    “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.”

    • Sheila.N June 16, 2011 at 1:57 am #

      Jazak’Allah Khair For Reading 🙂

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