Hijaab. Easier said than done bruv! – By guest contributor Mister X

Salaam people of the world!

Before I begin, let me tell you that I am neither a scholar nor a person who claims a position of a high dignitary. I am just a brother from-the-block giving my contribution to you lovely people but to my brothers in particular. This is a reminder to me before it goes out to anyone else, may Allah SWT forgive me if I have said/done anything wrong and may He save us all from the Punishment of Hellfire. Ameen.

By the way – I have to confess something, I get put off reading long articles! Lol. (see- I am a brother from the block – I Lol’d!) My language is plain and simple so inshaaAllah it wouldn’t be difficult to read, hopefully it’ll make you smile, and if someone walks away learning something from this then my mission is complete. Enjoy- J

Hijaab.

A very sensitive subject for our sisters out there. Brothers, let me tell you that it’s not just a piece of cloth to wrap around the head and khallas (finished). No. A sister must observe her hijaab physically and mentally. It’s an attire to respect and follow through properly; it’s an act of worship.

When you stand in congregational prayers, you don’t see brothers having a discussion in the middle of salah, do you? [If you do – call me *gets sandals ready*] Your “act of worship” will become worthless. Similarly a woman must wear the hijaab with the utmost respect for it and not go out there doing wrong acts.

“Bruuuuuuuv! Do you how many hijaabis I’ve seen do this and that?”

I’ve probably seen more than you. In fact, I hate to say this but I have seen non-hijaabi sisters who are far more sensible than some of the hijaabi sisters out there.  I personally know some who are trying to get back in to the deen by praying five times a day, fast during the month of Ramadhan and do other acts of worship yet they are having a personal struggle to have the confidence to wear a hijaab publicly. And then I also know some who wear the hijaab and unfortunately do not perform a single prayer and commit sins such as smoking and drinking. (Yes, drinking alcohol). Astaghfirullah.

It is unfortunate that we see sisters who have no shame and commit sin openly. But it is our duty to help them rather than curse them. The least you can do is raise your hands and sincerely make dua for them.

Many sisters have started to wear hijaab at a young age and are nurtured by family & friends’ influences, but how many have understood the concept of wearing one? Believe it or not, some are wearing it as a fashion symbol and that’s it! As parents we should not only encourage our daughters to wear hijaab but also explain why. Don’t scream your tonsils out saying

“YOUUUU HAVE TOOO!!” whilst pointing your fat fingers at her.

[3/4 brothers reading this will probably check their forefingers right now]

Seriously, do not be ashamed if you don’t know the real reason why it is obligatory for a woman to wear hijaab, there are plenty of resources to seek that knowledge. And if you’re reading this blog, well you have come to the right place to get some resources.

Hidden Behaviour

My background has involved me hearing many sad stories about the youth, and unfortunately some stories have involved sisters suffering from family abuse including sexual abuse. Brother, let me tell you that sisters in some cases suffer so much abuse from their family that they run away from home or they get banished and as a result, the hijaab gets disregarded as the sister feels it’s an attachment to her family and her symbol of “freedom” is without it.

Also, many of you complain how much make-up she wears with her hijaab. Well firstly, why the hell are you gazing at her?  Secondly, she may have just started to wear the hijaab so sisters tend to wear make up to give them confidence. Yes it’s not true for all sisters but I’m just saying for some. Either way gaze low inshaaAllah

So little do you know what goes on in their life. ..

So, what’s your point?

Brothers, the point I am trying to make is that women wearing a hijaab is a fragile thing. Do not spit venom at her if she doesn’t wear it properly because she may have just started wearing it recently, the moment you knock her confidence down then that is it. She will be shattered. It takes days, months and years to build that confidence yet seconds to break it.

We should encourage our mothers, sisters, wives and daughters to wear the hijaab with full grace but not in a barbaric manner! Learn some adab (manners/etiquette); it is crucial in Islam that you have manners. If you constantly nag in their ears then Shaytaan will drive them away; approach them gently, speak to them with full respect and explain to them why it’s obligatory in Islam.

A quick message to our sisters who are struggling to embrace the hijaab; I know it isn’t easy, some do wish to embrace it but feel they’re “not perfect” enough to wear it. Well my sisters, let me tell you this, you will never be perfect. We are the descendants of Adam (AS), we are prone to make mistakes and it’s down to us to address it. Do not think that you need to wait till you become a better person to wear it, because that will never happen. You need to get that thought built in your mind. We all need to enjoin the good and forbid the evil, thus the more good deeds we do, the better we become in imaan and slowly inshaaAllah we will eliminate our bad habits. Remember, a good deed is never too small. I personally know people where they were under the influence of drugs. They would intoxicate themselves without feeling that it’s a sin. After a near death situation, Allah has given them the light and they started to attend salaah and engage more in the deen, over time they eliminated that bad habit because they felt they were sinning and feared Allah.  Don’t wait for a near death experience to happen to you to “see the light” because it may not be “near”.

My final message to my brothers, as mentioned before it is a sensitive subject; do not ignore it nor be harsh, be delicate  – perhaps encourage them to start off wearing the hijaab at home so they get familiar wearing it – maybe extend the routine by wearing it from one salah time to another, then increase this exercise by visiting the local shops with the hijaab on, then increase this by wearing it when visiting a relative’s house and so on – these are just model examples but you get the gist. It’s all a step-by-step progress. InshaaAllah their imaan will increase and they will enjoin the good and forbid the evil, so you will see the bad habits would die out too.  Do not expect them to become an overnight Aalima (learned woman); it’s easier said than done.

~ Mister X

You can follow Mister X on twitter @tweetuwoo